Top Mistakes to Avoid in a Divorce

By: Kristen Devaney, Esq.

Date: April 1, 2025

Divorce is never easy, but when handled with clarity and care, it doesn’t have to be as tumultuous as it often seems. One of the most effective ways to approach divorce is through collaborative methods—prioritizing cooperation, clear communication, and mutual respect. However, even with a collaborative mindset, it is easy to make mistakes that can hinder the process and impact the outcome. Here are some of the top mistakes to avoid when navigating a divorce.

1. Failing to Communicate Openly and Honestly

Effective communication is the foundation of any collaborative divorce. When emotions run high, it’s tempting to avoid difficult conversations, or worse, withhold key information. Transparency is crucial for finding mutually agreeable solutions, especially in the collaborative process when formal discovery is avoided. Be open about your financial situation, goals for the future, and your priorities.

2. Letting Emotions Dictate Decisions

Divorce is undoubtedly emotional.  Allowing anger, sadness, or frustration to drive decisions can lead to costly mistakes. While it is natural to experience a range of emotions, making decisions from a place of hurt or anger can result in poor choices that you may regret later in the realm of a logistical parenting plan or financial security. In a collaborative divorce, the goal is to work together toward a resolution, not to "win" or to punish your spouse.

3. In Depth Analysis of Future Cash Flow

Divorce often brings financial uncertainty because of unknowns in how to meet expenses while maintaining two households. One of the most significant financial mistakes in divorce is not fully appreciating the future cash flow implications of a settlement. Take the time to determine your projected future budget, projected income, tax consequences, and how to afford duplicating the martial lifestyle as much as possible.  Doing these analyses will ensure that the agreement terms are carried out because work was done as to the affordability of each party’s obligations.

4. Settling Too Quickly

The desire to end the divorce quickly is understandable. Whether it is rushing into an agreement out of exhaustion or a desire to avoid conflict, hastily made decisions may not take into account all the factors involved. It is important to take the time you need to thoroughly review options and ensure that you’re making informed choices. Work with a collaborative team to explore the long-term effects of each decision before finalizing the agreement.

5. Overlooking the Power of Mediation and Neutral Professionals

While lawyers play a vital role in a divorce, they are not the only professionals who can help navigate the process. Collaborative divorce offers the unique advantage of having a team of neutral experts—such as divorce coaches, financial specialists, and child specialists—who are trained to help guide both parties through difficult decisions. Failing to tap into these resources can hinder your ability to reach a fair and sustainable settlement.

Avoiding these common mistakes can make all the difference in achieving a peaceful, fair, and sustainable resolution to your divorce. By prioritizing communication, appreciating the in depth analysis of your future financial picture, and collaboration with multiple professionals, you set yourself up for a future that reflects your true goals. With patience and careful planning, you can avoid these pitfalls and find solutions that work for everyone involved.